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07/18/2011

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Fareeja

I recently heard a radio spot on NPR oulnntiig the various legal distinctions for what constitutes a valid cause for a lawsuit for slander, insubordination etc The scenarios were based on an employees comments on face book or other social media and technology. I would like to know more about these distinctions. There was a fine line between many which seemed arbitrary.Recently I was compelled to warn the head of a non profit-organization that one employee was building a public opinion against them on facebook. She was absolutely aghast. This was outside of her world view, but clearly affecting the organization. The individual clearly displayed his need for approval, while denigrating his work environment and co-workers. Except for one or two responses out of over 50, the collective showed an overwhelmingly positive support for his views. Without considering whether there was a valid cause for a critical job review. The facebook friends' were not actually doing this individual any kindness by shielding him from taking responsibility for his poor performance. I suspect that others like myself might have recognized the pattern of distortion and left no comment. Remaining silent appears to be the only option when distorted, wishful thinking is prevalent in a social media group. Believing personal opinions matter, despite their obvious self-serving and distorted agendas, has begun to effect all of us. From working relationships to major political movements and public policy. The tendency to believe what we wish to be true and ignore any contradiction or investigation displays a frightening tendency in our culture. I wouldn't want a world where Big Brother had to step in to define for us what was valid or true. There is a need to create collective awareness for discrimination and balance on a scale never seen before. Outside of the legal system. Reporters used to have an ethical base for their reporting, but nothing of the kind exist in the new social media. Either we create this, as technology evolves, or those with the most vocal and self serving agenda will speak for us. What would a well defined system of ethical checks and balances contain for our emerging neorelationships?

Mex

I actually had two swohers my husband's family is HUGE (I'm talking 15 aunts at least 40 FIRST cousins alone before a single friend or second cousing was invited). By the time my MIL had her guest list in place for the shower, there were almost 100 people present, so we decided that to keep the shower from getting too long, my aunt threw one for my family (which is much smaller) and friends, and then I had one w/my in-laws' family.The only people that were invited to both were my bridesmaids, and I told them not to get me anything, since they were doing enough by being in the wedding. (They didn't listen, but at least it was only a gift at one shower!).The intent of a shower is to shower the bride-to-be with gifts to start her new home with it replaces the idea of a dowry so when you invite someone to a shower, it's pretty much implied that they're to bring a gift for the bride. How you choose to invite someone to multiple swohers is, of course, up to you. I would be hesitant to send a formal invitiation to someone multiple times, so they don't get the impression that you're trying to milk them for gifts. Perhaps mention to that person (I'm assuming this will be a relative or a very close family friend, of course!) that you just mailed out the invitations, and while you'd love to have them come, you were hesitant to send them an invitation, because you didn't want them to think you were expecting another gift. Apologize, because you don't want them to feel like an afterthought because they weren't, and tell them you erred on the side of caution and invite them for lunch. Otherwise, if you're not comfortable with that, it's MORE than appropriate to just invite them to one shower and be done with it.

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